Changes

I speak of the day, and of the night that terrible injustices were bestowed upon the family of the beloved Prophet (saw). The Prophet Muhammad (saw) had two grandsons, Imam Hassan and Imam Husayn, both of whom he was not only extremely fond of, but to whom he bequeathed the fate of his Ummah, his following, to. It was on the day of Ashura, that the legacy of Imam Husayn was etched into history in blood forever. Among those brutally massacred on this day by the tyrannical Umayyad Caliph Yazid were his two sons, Awn and Muhammad, his younger brother Abbas, and his 10 month old baby, Ali Asghar. The night however, proved to be far worse. After suffering from 2 days without water, and having to watch the men of their family die, the women of the family of the Prophet were subjected to abject cruelty. A night of fires, and crying children. The tents holding the beloved Imam’s wives, extremely ill son Ali, and 3 year old daughter Sakina were set aflame, with little regard as to their human contents. The sister of the Imam, Zaynab, tried frantically to round up the children, and take charge of the battered family. Young Sakina, however, had gone missing. Zaynab searched and searched, but to no avail. Finally, she was found, lying on the chest of her headless father, just as she had done for so many nights while he was alive. Sobbing, she was removed from his body, and taken along with the women to search for shelter. This was an unrealistic ideal. They were rounded up by Yazid’s men, tied together in rows like slaves, and forced to begin a long journey to Sham, in Damascus. They were made to walk the week long camel ride, on the burning desert sands, with no cover over their heads. Their veils of modesty had been cruelly ripped from their heads, and even young Sakina’s earrings were brutally ripped from her ears by one of Yazid’s greedy soldiers.

The next few months were spent in a jail in Damascus, where not only did they suffer the perils of the dungeon, they, the family of the beloved Prophet of Islam, were paraded in the lavish court of Yazid in front of all sorts of men. It took all of the power that Zaynab possessed to protect the women of her family from rape and sexual abuse. Finally, after many months of ill treatment, they were let go. Unfortunately, Sakina did not make it to that time. She died in her sleep, on the cold prison floor, likely dreaming of her father’s warm chest.

Now how, you may ask, does this relate to ME? I mean, I profess to be quite liberal, and rarely practice the prescribed rules of my religion. I can admit to saying that I don’t even cry during the majlises (emotional speeches given during the first ten days of the month of Muharram, when Ashura occurred), and rarely find myself being able to relate to the issues being brought up. Somehow, today, I feel like I was touched, if only a little, by the stories being told at mosque. Somehow, today, I feel like I want to change. Like I want to forget all of this lesbianism business, and focus on what really matters… my religion. Another part of me screams that I likely cannot do that, simply because I have invested so much into gay issues. But another still tells me that I really CAN compromise the two.

Whatever I decide to do, I am quite certain that I will try and make a change for the better. The muslim Ummah needs intellectuals who have grown up in the 21st century, and who have the gift of oratory.

Until the sun goes down,
Sarah

So sick, and so tired. And so sick and tired of having to pull myself out of bed everyday with a headache and a constant asthma attack. Breathing hurts, talking hurts, walking hurts, eating hurts. Everything hurts. Oh, and sleep is non-existant.

Game over, I hate being sick and hate that my stupid inhalers aren't doing anything. 

But school and exams just go on even though I seem to be unable to.

Blah blah blah, everything you say to me makes no sense because I am sick and tired and unable to BREATHE.

Feeling:

sick

"What do you know of friendship?", the little pink teddy bear asks me, smirking at my lack of understanding.
"I'd like to think very much!", I reply, indignantly. I wonder who the hell this stuffed animal thinks he is, questioning me, a human. He chuckles at my response, indicatin ghis inherent superiority. My head spins, and I wonder if this is just a fever induced hallucination.
"You barely know the girl and you profess to be her best friend? Fuck, Sarah, how shallow can you be?", his painted-on eyes turn stormy, "She has so much she needs to share, and what do you do? You have superficial, saccharine sweet conversations with her on msn, barely even stopping to scrape beneath the candy shell exterior."

Feeling:

sick

Happy, happy, happy Sarah!

Updates: 
-New house. It's large. I got lost. Twice.
-Cat was moved to new house. Has been sleeping for 2 days.
-New meds. Mood swings=gone!
-Possibly new hair if I can find my sexy cutting scissors and get a chance to go look for nice dye.

Rant:
I tend to look back on things I have said/done and cringe because they were terribly stupid at the time. But I'm trying to stop that because it just makes me feel yucky about myself.

Although she may have deleted her lj account, and we may not have as awesome times with Shaki P anymore, Zehr-dawg is still the funniest person I have ever met, and we share a BPSH (Brown Private School Homies) bond that can NEVER be broken.

I have gathered some quotes from a) Our idol Shaki P, b) Our idol Aftaab, and c) Select conversations/raps concerning the aforementioned idols. They are as follows:

Zehr-Dawg and Shakie P
Smoking up a catastrophe
With $20 spliffs and XTC
Sunday School is teh place to BE!


Dear Shaki P,
I was just wondering if you have any advice for me if i were about to be violated by a member of the male species,
Deeply Distressed.

Dear Deeply Distressed,
My advice to you is that you cover yourself in human excrements, not missing a single part of your skin, and i can guarantee you that you will neither be violated, raped, or attacked. In fact, you shall escape quite unharmed.
 I hope this helped,
Shaki P-to the-atlani


Sarah: (in regards to a planned chillzfest)  
Can we perchance invite Shakizzle?
I think the idea would be oh so much more exciting with some choice words used in inappropriate contexts

Zehrdawg:
ha, well you can pose her that question if you really want =P . but something tells me she'll choose absenteeism. *chuckles*

Sarah:
Well if she realizes it's a special needs case scenario, she'll probably wake up and smell the coffee.

Zehrdawg:
oh man, we are such tools. i feel like eating some CO-COnuts. mmm.

Sarah:
No we aren't! Stop fornicating stories!

But I too am getting hungry, but first I will take this lady to the mosque for burial.


Sarah:
Lol... but we are like the only Khojas at both schools (excluding the ismaili girls at my school). Come on, we can't terminate our relationship now... we have yet to convert the world!

Zehrdawg:
ha, i suppose you are speaking the truth. i'll take the hindus, you take the jews =P

Sarah:
Ah but what will we do with all those lost Christians? I say we turn them into samosas to save time...

Zehrdawg:
ha, that might work if we were DESI CANNIBALS. which we are not. ergo, your plan fails =)

Sarah:
Speak for yourself. For me, cannibalism is way up there with eating paan, drinking chai, learning how to build nuclear weapons to destroy American infidels and watching bollywood films.

You're definitely too white-washed.


"Chappals = Necesary fashion accesory for every outfit."

"Aaj program hey, Talk of the Town."

"Zehr-dawg, on the topic of beggars, if you can't fit one in your bag i'm sure fed ex/ air mail would be happy to accomodate you. I mean, who doesn't love beggars?"

"YOU ARE BE HITTED BY...

............|\
............| \
............|_\
...______|_________
...\___ FOB BOAT___/
....\_____________/
SEND TO TEN PEPO. IF YOU BREAKING CHAIN, YOU BE CURSING VITH BAD ENGUHLISH AND GREEN CARD REVOKE."

"Yeah, her name is Shaki p
And she hates both you and me.
Her english skills leave much to be desired
and in my opinion, Shaki p should be FIRED.” 


"my thoughts exactemundo.

EXACTEMUNDO

have i mentioned lately that im a gangsta?"


"we should rebel against her one of these days. put a dog in her desk or something. oh man that would be SO funny.

"omg! dogs are HARAAM! Get this mangy creature out of this institute of islamic knowledge!"

"Wake up and smell the coffee, Shaki. The dog is there for a reason" - Sarah as she picks up her pitchfork and advances toward Shaki's desk..."


"Because I mean, Satan is everywhere; fornicating stories, instigating absenteeism, in your head..."

"WHATEVZ, my cousin is the coolest paki since Quaid-e-Azam. HAHA."

"I am currently knocking down garbage cans in drunken/inebriated stupour. I just thought I'd let you know."

"my 'spazzy cue cards' caused my ACADEMIC DEMISE. i did SO BADLY on math it's ridiculous. it makes me want to go DO DRUGS. haha."

"Interesting substances? Brown individual? Please tell me you are talking about Samosas with Shaki P."

"Hehe....i just don't like utlising the phone you UTENSIL hahaha. thats my story and i'll stick to it. XD"

"HAHAHA. closet star wars geek my REAR END. closet druggie...maybe...but star wars??? come on now!"


"Zehra Hassan. Ever since the day I met you, I've known that you were the one. First, with our Shaki P jokes, that went from juist writing down a list to a rap, 4 stories, sixteen pages in my madressa notebook, and about 200 wall posts. Then, we moved to other Brownstas, like ZH, etc. Finally, with our Wonderland excursion, our trip to Kingston, and you beating me in tennis, I can say that I've never loved anyone more.

Marry me."



I <3 Zehra. Please come back to me, Brownsta!

Situation:	New House!
Feeling:	Lalalal!